The Great Fire Incident of 2012

                               http://www.rexfireinc.com/images/restorent-image.jpg

A customer accidentally set a fire in the restaurant last night.  I kid you not, an honest to goodness fire!  The evening started out tamely enough; at least I hadn’t done anything remarkably stupid for any of my coworkers to note.  In fact, the restaurant had been slow by our standards---only 230 reservations.  I had been aimlessly wandering around, looking for something to occupy myself for about an hour before I stumbled upon what I’d like to call “The Great Fire Incident of 2012.” 

A mildly drunk but happy-enough couple was one of my few tables.  They decided that they wanted to sit in the bar, in the stone pit because of the close proximity to the fireplace.  A lot of people favor this table in the winter months because of the immense warmth that radiates.  I didn’t think anything of it when they inquired about the table, so I let them have it without any qualms. 

What I didn’t expect was for the man to find the fire more and more appealing as the evening wore on.  It was innocent at first—he asked about the taxidermy deer head above the mantle, where we got “this superb firewood that burnt so well,” and so on.  I don’t particularly like fire (I lit my hair on fire on my sixteenth birthday cake), so I brushed off his comments as I took their orders and excused myself from the conversation.

But that tipsy nitwit just couldn’t leave the freaking fire alone.  Oh no, he felt compelled to personally tend to it, by poking and prodding and adding firewood himself.  I should have put an end to it, but I thought, “what the heck—the poor sod is getting a kick out of it, maybe he’ll up my tip.” 

My mistake. 

He built up the fire enough that the flames were almost dangerously high, and because the fireplace is an antique that was built with the original building in 1916, there isn’t a gate or anything to really contain the fire with ease. 

He finally left it alone when I brought out he and his date’s meals, but as I asked if there was anything else I could get for them, he dramatically shook out his napkin, and it caught fire!

And this stupid man held on to it in shock.  As if he couldn’t believe that the flames could have possibly made a connection with his cloth napkin. 

I did what anyone in this situation would do—I dumped my water pitcher on his arm.  I couldn’t really find it in me to actually be sorry when he got pissed at me for getting him wet.  I saved him from his own stupidity and a seared hand.  What an idiot.

Lesson learned: drunken people should not sit near fires.  Customers are morons. And finally, I’m underappreciated for the crap I have to put up with at this place.